Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Getting back to more of a normal day

Last night we got the car back.  Wow thought we would have gotten more done without us being gone as often.  Trick was on me, as I just am not as fast as I use to be.   I was happy to spend time with my husband, however it was good to let him go all by himself to go pick up the Jeep.  We had a friend visit just as hubby got home.  We spent the twilight talking and showing off stuff around the place.




Today we spent the day being old folks who need to get to know each other better.  Rekindled kindness, respect, and caring in our relationship.  Not sex so much as caring for the others limits, kindness in not expecting the world to shatter just because we were wild and crazy rather because we cared for each other's emotions, telling the other they still were desirable even over 50, less hair, more body weight, more wrinkles, less energy, slower to the take off, quicker to fail at times due to medications and life events.  It is not easy keeping a marriage on track.  Hopes dreams help, desire to be with your friend helps, fear of being alone is part of the make up of our marriage.  We have both been alone and knew going into this we were not 20 anymore but we wanted to make the commitment to each other as we had entered that age when children start to fly the nest life was a changing for my whole family at that time.  I had been a widow for a while after watching my first husband drink then added drugging himself to death.  His body just gave up trying to fight the fight and started to rot from the inside out.  This husband did nor has he ever be angry with me to the point of walking out, leaving me to clear his head, hitting me to get his way, or to even raise his voice to cuss me out.  He will say Whoa and that means please stop I am getting to angry we will talk more in a few minutes when I cool down a bit.  Now me I go off and cuss, say cutting words, even fuss and bussle about things.  Hubby now he see the trouble I have worked myself up to and he takes the time to either talk to me in a smooth calm voice or he gives me space to blow off steam then we talk.   Today's cuddle time was a renewal of all the good times we have had and want to have.  Time to talk, time to value the other, time to renew hopes and dreams in a safe place, safe manner, safe environment, in loving arms which have no age limits.   Cleaned up small problems between each other, talked of future, talked of where we wanted to go over the next few weeks in short comfortable manner.  It was safe and now our relationship is on better footing. 



My kids do not understand why I like this man, why I love him.  The safety OAM beings me compared to the first husband is miles apart.  He loves me without fear of what others think.  He is loved for his actions, words, and deeds.  He even attends church with me.  The value of that is priceless.  My heart opens to him each and every day.  He is real, knows himself, is not the most handsome like the first husband was but inside he is golden.  Just simply golden for me and he trys to love my kids as much as they will let themselves be open to him. 



Hubby went to town for a bit after we did some chores, then we had another visitor tonight.  A man looking for a new LGD (livestock Guard Dog).  WE need to rehome ours before she loses her instinct and wants to only guard the home and not the goats.  This sir has a herd of goats and Quince loves goats.  Dan brought dinner home a Big Carl from Carl's Jr.  I had fun eating someone else's cooking.  I had forgotten to eat breakfast or lunch did have a iced coffee.  I cut up some apples for dessert.  Now to see about getting a cable box converter so we can get TV from the on air stations if we can. 



It is getting late and I need to start tomorrow a bit earlier than we started today plus I want to read some before going to sleep. 

I will write more soon,

Take Care and come back soon,

Ol' Mossback

 

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