Ever tried to rethink your life and it's goals. I work a 12 step program, have for 22 plus years now. My word it is hard. Sometime I have to adjust my life dreams and hopes to be more real other times I just need to allow myself to be in the moment, forgive myself. Experience starts to become an issue as you have too much, employment agencies state you should be looking at these types of jobs-high pay, leadership, jobs like state workers have and paid as good or better than them, yea right. In all the years I have looked no one I mean no one has said gee whiz girl you are too cute, able bodied, or too athletic to have this job. Rather I get well you are over qualified, ( you must be old) your are just not what we are looking for ( combo-not a knock out beauty, too fat, I am so fat it scares them, they see their insurance rates going up because of age, weight, or conditions), best of all is the I wish I knew of someone hiring cause you have so much to offer someone however you just will not fit in here. (See above). I have had people hire me nearly sight unseen, they have loved my work once they got past the oh my she is heavy, old, gray haired hum, or other reservations. I have gotten great responses from them however seems these jobs just did not work out due to the changing economic climate in most cases. So I now work a job that requires someone in my state to hold a licence's to work at that job. I only work tax season but it is a job that does not pay out right well but better than any other I have been offered in the past 5 years. About 10 years ago I started looking for something to be a second "job" one of my own making say a business I could work at between tax seasons. I had several things I was researching when I meet my husband and well farming came back as an option.
I attended Oregon State took courses which would have lead me to be an agriculture extension agent related work. Alas 18 months after I had gotten my diploma the state started changing how or who they hired. I needed a Masters degree to even apply. Shot here I was two kids in diapers, drink unemployed abusive carpenter husband #1, who had been told by the college when I went back 3 yrs later I needed to update my college skills before entering the masters program. I had a 12 day old baby when I walked down the concourse to get my degree handed to me. Seems all those job apps I had been applying for just did not know how to take my degree. I am holding anger over choices I made. I have drank over them plus other choices I have made. Seemed each time I started to make headway something got in the way. It took years but I know now I need to be the one making my way in the world not asking people to make my way in the world. I make my own way. Not something corp America likes to hear, drives my boss nuts during tax season as I am a bit of a maverick. I can read his reports he allows us to read, I had economics, business, and math, along with social insight classes. I have read the results of the reports as I see them and being able to read some of the writing on the wall. I have had to learn to wait to respond to the boss when I work for others. I love the freedom to work for myself there are months I earn more working for myself then I do working for the "man" however I still am not sure enough to go it alone without the safety net of a job to help cover the expenses most of the year.
I like doing it on my own. Being the one who knows the market, advertises, does sales, research which can be the best side of this being self employed equation. Then there is the promotion of my bit of heaven. Dog trails, livestock auctions, the everyday wonderful God bless them real people. No one trying to stab me in the back in the next office, no one telling me Not to go there, but watching to see if it works. I can name many ways not to raise sheep in the Willamette Valley. I can tell you dozen of ways how not treat to allow your livestock guard dog to behave or acts one should not allow them to see. I can tell you which types of goats I am liking and willing to spend time around. I learned I miss the smell of a horse on the place. Calves can cause as much laughter as baby lambs. I don't get to hold the calves as long on my lap as I do the lambs but then again calves are not as often coming into the house looking for me like the goats and sheep do. Chickens are great. Ducks actions bring smiles. Geese can eat loads of grass. Things I find heart warming. Grand kids love to feed the baby livestock, run around seeing all the sights we have on our small acreage. I love my ATV plan and simple.
Better go now. I have spent the day removing mouse droppings as I moved things around on the pantry shelves finding 3 places those buggers have chewed though the wall to get into that room. Old metal shelves where on the floor moving and cleaning those not fun. Taking the time to sort out old stuff, do I need that in here questions, and just adjusting life to live it a bit better. Need to go into town and get some drywall maybe steel wool so these mice will not chew back though the walls where I patch.
Old Moss had better go finish this blog as it is nearly 10 pm and I work in the morning.
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